Do you struggle to stay motivated when you start a new habit? Maybe you need to consider your needs?
The way we live our lives is, in a way predetermined. All of our decisions are made to keep us aligned to our deepest needs.
It makes sense then, that if you know what your true needs are, you’ve got the ideal motivator to help you achieve your habits.
So, let’s start from the beginning…
What are the six Human Needs?
Originally presented by Anthony Robbins, it’s now globally accepted that our lives are determined by what he called ‘The 6 Human Needs‘
I’ll go through them one-by-one for you.
We all want an amount of certainty in our lives. The need to be sure that particular things will, or won’t happen. We want certainty the car will start in the morning, that we can fulfil the requirements of our career, that all of our windows and doors are locked at night so we don’t get burgled, etc.
At the same time, we also need an amount of UN-certainty. We crave variety, or surprise. In fact Tony Robbins holds that the amount of excitement in your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably live with. The uncertainty in your life is what provides spice and adventure.
Deep down, we all want to be important to someone. We want our life to have meaning and significance. We want to feel unique, important, or special.
At some level we all need to be loved and to love others. We want to feel part of a community, to be cared for and cared about. We need a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone, or something.
Every living thing either GROW, or DIES. To become a better person, to improve our skills, to stretch and excel in our careers and personal lives requires us to grow as a person. It may be more evident in some than others, but it’s there for everyone.
The desire to contribute to others, to help others, to make the world a better place. For them to be effective, our actions must not only benefit us, but also benefit the people around us.
How can knowing all this, help me stick to my habits?
Everyone’s lives are determined by these 6 needs, but which are most important will vary greatly.
If you were to ask someone who’s most important need is ‘Certainty’, if they’d like to go skydiving with you, you’d most likely get a resounding NO!
Ask the same question to a person who’s greatest need is ‘Uncertainty’, or ‘Growth’ and the answer would most probably be the exact opposite.
It doesn’t matter what habits you want to achieve, these needs will help you reach your goal, if you use them as your motivator.
How do I know which ones are top for me?
If you want more information on how these needs effect you life, there’s a great PDF that explains it really well HERE.
After reading that, if you’re still not sure, then head over to the Tony Robbins site and take his short test.
Almost all your decisions will be made using your top one, or two needs as a guiding force.
Which is top for you?
Once you know your top human need, you can use that knowledge to unearth your ‘Why’.
Using your results
So, now you now what drives you, how do use that information?
eg: Let’s say you’re single and you never seem to have the motivation to shave. You might decide to start a habit of shaving every morning before work. You’ll probably keep it up for a couple of days, before drifting back to using those ten minutes to ‘acclimatise’ to the day, before you get up.
The initial problem was caused because you had no motivation. Just telling yourself that you’re going to do something, doesn’t make it happen.
You need to get some motivation!
So, now let’s say that you’ve discovered your top need is for ‘Connection/Love’. You want to be loved by someone special. You can use that as a motivator.
Remind yourself that most people will be attracted to someone who doesn’t look like they’ve slept in their car all night. And that you’d be more likely to attract the attention of someone desirable if you took more care in your own appearance.
The need for connection, or love will be all the motivation you need to be successful.
Maybe you want to read more often, but can’t find the time. If your top need was for ‘Growth’, you could use wanting to increase your knowledge as the driving force. If it was ‘Contribution’, you could use the motivation of being able to help others using the information you’d learn.
Motivation is sometimes difficult when you’re starting something that’s new and challenging. Why not use the very things that drive you, to motivate you to improve?
Let me know in the comments what you found out about yourself 🙂